Wedding planning is stressful. Tensions are high. People say things they shouldn’t. People say things that are easily misunderstood. Feelings get hurt.
Hopefully, each of you will get better and better at proffering an apology as you move through this wedding planning period. After all, isn’t that why wedding planning was invented? So that the two of you could perfect your sparring techniques so that they inflicted the least damage and kept the marriage moving in the right direction? Thought so.
But accepting an apology isn’t so easy either. It’s important to remember that anyone who makes a sincere apology (um, not one of those, “I’m sorry, but”… apologies), deserves to be taken seriously. She or he deserves to be taken at her or his word. Someone who can say both “I’m wrong” and “I’m sorry” deserves to be forgiven. That apology should be accepted.
To accept an apology
You must know why you’re hurt.
You must feel that your beloved knows why you’re hurt.
Your beloved must make a sincere, good faith apology.
You must appreciate those tendered regrets.
You must be willing to move on to resolution of the problem.
You must understand that resolution of the problem is what will move you forward.
I know it’s difficult for the person who makes the apology, but not everything must run on your beloved’s schedule. If at the moment, you can only appreciate and not accept the apology, because you’re still fuming, tell your partner that you need time. And then take the time. It is not all right to hold up the healing because you’re irritated and want to punish your partner.
For fighting to be fair, everyone must act in good faith. When you wander off the good faith path, you need to get back on it. (and here’s the news, both of you will.)
Learning to fight fairly is not easy. Talk about your troubles learning this skill in your wedding ceremony. If you have role models (and it’s a good idea), mention them. Make promises about fair fighting in your wedding vows. And then practice like a house afire. You’re going to need to be skilled at fair fighting if you want to be married a long time!
Bottom Line?: Give your relationship the chance it deserves to succeed wildly, against all odds! After all, you deserve it. Your relationship deserves it! There’s a lot more info to help you create the wedding ceremony of your dreams, the wedding vows of your heart and the marriage of a lifetime over on my website: http://annkeelerevans.org. And to help you create the wedding vows that will become the blueprint for your incredible, happily and healthily ever-after marriage, I’d like to invite you to sign up to receive 2 free wedding vow templates: http://annkeelerevans.org/weddings/free Go on! I dare you, be happy together!
